Posted on November 21, by Scott Alexander I. Jonah got swallowed by a whale. But the Bible says Jonah got swallowed by a big fish.
Here, I will try saying that to write is not to free oneself from the shame of being a man, or not, at least, but for sure, if you are this one.
Writing might also be a way of meeting with shame, a coming in to male shamefulness. I have surprised myself by wanting to be able to conclude that male shame, or my kind, is less to be regretted than one might at first think. I will say this.
First, that men are coming into shame; men have often before been ashamed of particular ways of falling short of being a man, but now some men are encountering the shamefulness of being a man as such and at all.
To be honest, being a man has always been a bit of a gamble, and has always involved jeopardy, the risk of falling short of being a man. Now, however, there is a swelling certainty that to be a man is in and of itself to fall short. Secondly, I will briefly review some of the thinking about shame, especially in its relations to guilt that has been done in philosophy, psychology anthropology and sociology during the last century.
I will suggest that, where shame tends nowadays to be seen as a moral emotion, and to be discussed as an ethical problem, its reach is larger than this.
I will argue that shame is not only to be thought of as a moral prop or provocation, but a condition of being, a life-form, even, and will offer a brief, wild phenomenology of it. Thirdly, I will suggest that male masochism is not so much the expression of shame, as an attempt to exorcise it, by turning shame into guilt and thereby taking its measure, and making it expiable.
Fourthly, I will consider the power of shame, suggesting that it has possibilities beyond those traditionally claimed for it. Doubtless, one can die of shame, as Salman Rushdie has said; but, stranger than this, it seems one can live of it too.
I am ashamed of being a man. Whether I have grown ashamed of being a man, or merely grown aware of always having been so, I do not yet know how to tell. Why be ashamed of being a man? To ask the question is to answer it.
To be a man is more and more to be - to be able to be, for it appears to be a power as well as a predicament - a disgrace, to be disgrace itself. How queerly all this coincides with the fact that it is now compulsory to be a man, for all.
All must strive for, and to be, the phallus, and size, as every advertisement coyly sniggers, matters. Women must be men, in order to be real women, and all the men must too, the only difference being that men can be counted on to come a cropper at it and thus body forth the failure of being a man.
It is out of the question to be ashamed and in the same breath to say you are. Properly, innocently shamed people have no words at their disposal, with which to clear their muddied names.
Shame is bottomless, there is far too much ever to tell of it, and so it holds its tongue. To speak of shame is to prolong or exacerbate it.
I am ashamed of being a man; I am ashamed to speak of this shame, and ashamed of the need I feel to do so, which I accordingly pretend is a gratuitous and shameful pretence, a need for which there is really no need. Speaking of it, speaking of any shame, from within it, is nauseating; it is infection, infliction, insult, sullying, insolence.
Shame is never so shameful as when it owns itself. This is why we are determined that people should own up to their guilt, but put strict limits on the speaking and display of shame. People are to be shamed, but their shame is not to be countenanced; allowing yourself to be shamed, is in itself shameful.
Shame is a dose to be gulped, not a state to be faced. Still, I am though. Statements of this kind seem to call for rosters of reasons and remedies. What is there to be ashamed of in being a man, my son?Melville and Nathaniel Hawthorne A page from The Life and Works of Herman Melville.
In the summer of Melville purchased an eighteenth-century farmhouse in the community of Pittsfield in Berkshire County, Massachusetts.
Agreed. A very comprehensive summation.
One part I thought you didn't cover as fully as needed (although I may have missed it) is the link between feminist enabled single motherhood, and the rise in violent crime and subsequent quadrupling of the level of incarceration since in your country. I.
“Silliest internet atheist argument” is a hotly contested title, but I have a special place in my heart for the people who occasionally try to prove Biblical fallibility by pointing out whales are not a type of fish.
Security Notes from All Over: Man-in-the-Middle Attack. The phrase "man-in-the-middle attack" is used to describe a computer attack where the adversary sits in the middle of a communications channel between two people, fooling them both.
Essay. It was a pity that Mr. Eliot should be so much on the defensive in the long essay with which he prefaces this selection of Kipling's poetry. patton oswalt's blog: a closed letter to myself about thievery, heckling and rape jokes.